Today I wanted to do something worthwhile, just so I wasn’t wasting the last day of my holiday from work just surfing aimlessly on the Internet and wasting time rotting my braincells. Failing that, I knew I would end up sat in front of the telly watching some mindless pap like ‘My Super Sweet 16′ which isn’t good for me.I decided I was going to spend a couple of hours searching and applying for a new and better job. Rather than just moaning about it and complaining about how short of cash I am every single month, I was going to look for something new and take charge of my so-called career.
It didn’t take long before I felt even worse than I had before I’d started my search. Not only did I start to feel as if I had no skills at all which is untrue as I do have a job and have been in it for over two years, but I was having trouble finding a decent paying job that I wanted to spend eight to twelve hours of my day at. So often when you’re searching for a job you tend to feel like you so desperately want them to like you and take you on that you forget that you have to feel comfortable as well. It’s a two way street.
I’m a bit concerned at the fact I still haven’t worked out at the age of thirty what I want to do. I feel like I SHOULD have decided what I want by now. I should have my ideal job, I should be moving on with my life. At the moment I feel like I’m in arrested development. I suppose this is the root of my dissatisfaction with where I currently work.
Would I really want to work from home, though? That’s the question. Although I sometimes wish I had a job that enabled me to do that, would I actually be able to motivate myself to do anything? What I’ve noticed is that I do get easily distracted when I’m at home. There is always something that needs doing now, and that’s when I’m at home by myself. Normally I’m doing something and then someone will call me to come downstairs and that’s it. Game well and truly over. The only reason I’ve managed to write as much of the novel is because I write very late at night like at two o’ clock in the morning. While it’s not very good for my sleeping pattern and being inspired to write a lot is tricky when you’re peering at the screen in the wee hours of the morning I know it’s what I have to do.
What I need is a job that allows me to work and have some work/life balance so I can do my writing , but I can earn a decent wage. It MUST be out there. I just have to keep searching under every rock and stone if I have to.
