So , what’s been going on in this month while I’ve been slacking? I’ve spent quite a bit of time at work, managed to lose my house keys which cost me over a hundred pound last month. (Not Happy!) I had a massive fight with my father. We’re talking epic! I started A LiveJournal which is a bit time consuming. I started writing an epic Fanfic (which is rather surprising as I never thought I would, but it’s something to do before NaNo)

I will write more often I promise! This month has just been a bit rubbish.

Someone said something to me at work yesterday that upset me. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me , but it did all the same.

We were working and he casually mentioned that one of his friends didn’t like me at all. I was rather surprised as I work with this guy and I had never got that vibe from him. I looked at him in horror and I think he realized that I was shocked and upset by what he said.

“Didn’t you realise?” he said.

No, I didn’t. If I don’t like someone I make it fairly obvious that they’re not my favorite person. There’s no point in being fake and pretending to be all chummy with someone when you can’t stand and I’d like other people to extend the same courtesy to me.

I know I’m coming across a bit whingy , and I don’t mean to be. Why am I even letting this get to me? Perhaps I want to liked a bit more than I always thought which is a bit of a surprise. I wouldn’t have thought tat I craved approval from my peers like that.

Anyway, let’s move on, shall we? What else has been going on since I last posted. I haven’t been too well and had to take some time off work which will probably make a dent in my always awful finances. I’m still job searching but so far nothing’s coming up.

I’ve started doing a bit more writing at home, which is good. So far, I’m still trying to decide on my NaNo idea and I think I’m close to making a decision. I want to get as much research done as I can and work out the plot so when it comes to the time it should make life a bit easier to just get on and write. I’m limbering up by giving myself a 500 word count goal and when I’ve cracked that, upping it to 1000 then 1500.

For the first time in ages, I’ve got a Saturday off which is very rare for me at work, so I might go round my friend’s house and talk to her. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She really does keep me on a even keel and if I go round and I’m upset about something she helps.

Mum’s coming back soon , and I think it’s going to be a bit weird having her back as I’ve got used to being by myself. Oh well.

My stories are important to me because they are mine. I come up with the ideas and themes that interest me or makes me want to delve deeper into the story. Some of it is conscious , some of it is not. Since I’ve been doing it for a long time from childhood and people seemed to enjoy what I came up with , I loved doing it. I can only imagine that the only reason that I gave it up is that I lost a great deal of confidence in my abilities after college and managed to convince myself that I wasn’t clever enough or talented to write and especially not professionally.

While I got a lot from my Journalism course like the ability to check my work way more more throughly than I would have done, and the skill to judge other people’s work I’m not sure that it help me to develop enough confidence to write. I did a few bits and bobs but let my self get easily discouraged and gave up on it.

It’s like my singing. I was appalling while I was studying Musical Theatre at college precisely because I had no confidence in my abilities and I didn’t have the strength to stand up and say : This is me! Like it or lump it, bitches! When I was no longer studying and just singing what I like for myself I have got a lot better. While I’ll probably never front a best selling rock band or sing classical music like I dreamed when I was younger, I enjoy it and it’s a major part of my life. I couldn’t be without it and it’s the same with my writing.

In a way writing is reclaiming who I was and taking something I enjoy to enrich my life. I don’t really want any one else to read my stuff in a wider context yet. I’m allowing myself the joy of writing and getting better, learning with every sentence how to do it better.

I love working with characters. Sometimes they just appear fully formed and searching for a setting and sometimes they evolve. I enjoy observing people and how they behave and react in situations. How they think and feel about what happens to them. It’s strange that I try to be so controlled and detached while I love characters that are unbridled and passionate. When I come up with a good character I even get quite attached to them and really care that they get whatever they are seeking for or not.

So, writing is enjoyable and entertaining for me and God knows I need it as to be honest I don’t go out much , but on a more serious note I have noticed that I do try and work out issues within myself and in the world around me that bother me in my fiction without necessarily realising until much later what I was doing.

It’s difficult not to bore people to death talking about it too much although most people are surprisingly supportive. I have no idea whether they’re just humouring me and my little obsessions but it’s nice of them all the same. My family know I write but I don’t really want to show them my stuff as it’s not that suitable and I would feel strange just letting them read my thoughts. The guys at work know I write, but as yet no one has read the magnus opus and it’s staying that way until I’ve finally finished the monster! In fact the only person who has read some is my best friend who I asked in a moment of mad over self confidence to read and make comments on an excerpt. She really got into it.

As I said before in my previous post, I have quite a few ideas for a potential plot but I need to decide which one I actually want to work on. Decisions,eh? I’m leaning toward one of my beloved historical ideas but we’re talking serious research into 17th century France which could be tricky. I like the idea though and the chance to spend some more time with the characters is definitely appealing to me. Yes, I think I may be going down the sequel road which is odd because I really can’t stand film sequels. There’s very few that I think stand up to the original. And please don’t get me started on remakes! Dear god , if I had a pound for every time they made a remake of a perfectly good film and ruined it well put it this way: I wouldn’t be complaining about cash, that’s for sure!

What else has been going on in my life at the moment? I was meant to be going to see ‘Hulk’ but something cropped up and I missed the showing which was annoying. Oh well, I can always attempt to see it later on in the week and as I wasn’t a massive fangirl of it I’m not that upset. I know I might be in a minority but I actually quite liked the Ang Lee version. I think Eric Bana did a good job and I don’t know why everyone has to cuss it so much.

I thnk this is going to be it for a while because I’m exhausted and haven’t actually been to sleep yet!

more later, over and out

But what on Earth is it, I hear you ask?

For those of you that are unaware of what I’m talking about NaNoWriMo is a online creative writing challenge. Every year you have to write a novel of 50,000 words in November. A couple of years ago I decided to participate with an interesting little story called ‘The Whitehall Vampire’ which was based around the idea of a puritan detective investigating a series of brutal murders at the court of Charles II .

In fact it was that which started off the whole novel writing process for me. I just loved the idea of plunging into writing a novel and since I always said I was going to write one the time had come to put up or shut up. I never managed to finish my story in the right timescale (in fact I’m still kind of working on it), but I liked the story so much I carried on.

This year I’ve got a couple of really good ideas that I would like to explore and I really want to do this to prove to myself that I can do it and I want to work on something other than ‘Dischord’ . Not that I don’t love my novel (which I’m not ashamed to say I do!) but I suspect a bit of a change might do me some good frankly. ‘Dischord’ has mutated into a bit of a 180,000 word monster which is so NOT what it was originally intended to be.

I’ve got a while before the challenge starts in November so I’ve got time to decide which story to tell and time to do research, if I need to. I also thought if I make the decision to enter for it now then I can’t back out if everyone knows about it,can I?

This is where you guys come in. I’m thinking about getting sponsored possibly, I haven’t decided yet. Any encouragement and comments will be welcome. This is a bit of a step into the unknown and I hope that this year I can achieve my writing goal. It might make me more motivated at work now that I have something I enjoy to work on and look forward to rather than feeling like all I do is go to work, come home and fall into bed in order to do the same thing hours later!

I feel quite stoked about it. After all, I’ve got the equipment I need now I’ve invested in my laptop, I’ve been finding it easier than ever writing the novel using MS Word 2007 and it should be exciting! If I manage to do it , I will feel as if I’ve done something worthwhile for me and that’s what’s important.

It didn’t take long before I felt even worse than I had before I’d started my search. Not only did I start to feel as if I had no skills at all which is untrue as I do have a job and have been in it for over two years, but I was having trouble finding a decent paying job that I wanted to spend eight to twelve hours of my day at. So often when you’re searching for a job you tend to feel like you so desperately want them to like you and take you on that you forget that you have to feel comfortable as well. It’s a two way street.

I’m a bit concerned at the fact I still haven’t worked out at the age of thirty what I want to do. I feel like I SHOULD have decided what I want by now. I should have my ideal job, I should be moving on with my life. At the moment I feel like I’m in arrested development. I suppose this is the root of my dissatisfaction with where I currently work.

Would I really want to work from home, though? That’s the question. Although I sometimes wish I had a job that enabled me to do that, would I actually be able to motivate myself to do anything? What I’ve noticed is that I do get easily distracted when I’m at home. There is always something that needs doing now, and that’s when I’m at home by myself. Normally I’m doing something and then someone will call me to come downstairs and that’s it. Game well and truly over. The only reason I’ve managed to write as much of the novel is because I write very late at night like at two o’ clock in the morning. While it’s not very good for my sleeping pattern and being inspired to write a lot is tricky when you’re peering at the screen in the wee hours of the morning I know it’s what I have to do.

What I need is a job that allows me to work and have some work/life balance so I can do my writing , but I can earn a decent wage. It MUST be out there. I just have to keep searching under every rock and stone if I have to.

Since this is pretty hot off the press I thought I would take a moment to introduce myself and let you know a little about what is going on. Hopefully you’ll stick around!

My name is Davina Acquah Kwakye. I live in southern England and since I love writing and want to take it a bit more seriously I decided to start up this blog as a little portal into what’s going on in my world. Kind of like a column only more personal really.

I live and work for my sins in a town called Aylesbury which is not that far from London. If I’m not at work at the local cinema, I’m writing my novel (tentatively called ‘Dischord’) going to gigs occasionally or caring for my mum.

What I want to achieve in this blog is to give you a taste of what I’m like in real life, my thoughts and opinions on what goes on around me. If I manage to succeed in that, then it will be a job well done. I’m not pretending to be the best writer in the world, but the only way you’re going to get better is to do it! Just plunge in at the deep end and see where it goes from there. That’s how I started the novel and I can hand on heart say it was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

I love creative writing,

music of all types but mostly classical and metal,

current affairs, and popular culture

cinema,

singing classical music especially Baroque music like Handel and Bach or Musical Theatre,

books of all types fiction and non fiction,

languages,

poetry,

hanging out with friends (when I get to see them, which is rarer than I’d like!),

photography

writing in my journal.

I would say that I’m very passionate about things I love. While I do try to be a nice person, if I don’t like something or someone I’m quite blunt. As I’ve grown older and reached my thirties I see less point in pussyfooting round a subject. In that respect , you either like me or you don’t. Whatever.

I hope you find something that you enjoy in these posts. Something that makes you laugh, makes you think. Makes you think: It was worth spending a little time reading that.

Feel free to leave a comment if something interests you.

Here is a quick link to my facebook page as well with a bit more information on likes and dislikes, that kind of thing

http://www.facebook.com/wall.php?id=511353468#/profile.php?id=755114375